Draft/Week One: Aaaaand We're Back

Well hello there. It's another addition of everyone's favorite whatever-this-is. My motivation to write these is already super low. So here we go!!!

We drafted the team two weeks ago. We went with auction again. I don't remember everything that happened, but here are some things I will say happened. The tone of this draft was much different than last year. If you recall, (and I expect you to because I'm sure everyone's been rereading these recaps all summer) last year the draft started off kind of crazy. People were way overbidding early. So our strategy was to nominate players we didn't want to get some money out of the system. Well this draft was the complete opposite. Nearly every player was going for less than their expected draft value. Because we are super good at this, we quickly pivoted into nominating our players early while people were still being conservative.  We got everyone we wanted. I've very excited we were able to grab Stephen Gostkowski as our kicker. HE HAS GHOST IN HIS NAME. GHOSTS ARE WHITE!!! Anyway, the team is over there on the right. Expect Johnny Football to James Cameron hookups all year.

Then the first week happened also. As usual, I watched almost no games. You'd think maybe the other guy who can watch games and write posts would take care of this, but he's actually less motivated than me. Yes, motivation can go below zero Kelvin. That's a chemistry/physics joke for you kids out there. Alright, time to mail in this recap.

Our opponent jumped out to a quick lead because he had some players on Thursday night. Specifically, he had Russel Wilson and Marshawn Lynch. Typing the name Marshawn made me feel weird. Seattle went ahead and stomped Green Bay, no one's favorite team, so those guys had a bunch of points. Like 17 and 24 respectively. We had Jordy Nelson. He did acceptably in terms of yardage with over 80. Everyone should know the scoring system by now, but just this once I'll remind you that 80 yards is worth 8 points. Unfortunately, he had no touchdowns, so that's all we got from him. So a quick 41 to 8 hole for us.

In reviewing the week I've noticed we are heavily invested in New England. Also, I feel like I've written that every year we've done this. Seems right. This year we are riding Julian Edelman, Rob Gronkowksi, and Stephen GOSTkowski. Two kowskis on our team. Good omen probably. These guys all contributed. Edelman compiled 11 points worth of yardage, while Gronk had fewer yards plus a touchdown for 10 points. GOST kicked some stuff and also had 10 points. So with those three guys we almost caught up.

Now to the bad. Rams defense: bad. Give up 34 points to the Vikings. No points for us, though. Jason Witten: bad. He's a Cowboy. Seems like an oversight on our part. 1 point. Danny Woodhead: bad. 11 yards split between receptions and rushes. No points.

Toby Gerhart gets an passing grade. He only managed 5 points, but we grade on a curve when it comes to our white runningbacks. So how was our opponent doing? Luckily also bad. The rest of his team only managed to put together 22 points. So our week one comes down to Johnny Manziel. We thought for sure Hoyer would get benched early in the first quarter. No, wait. We just played Peyton Manning instead. And he's actually good. He scored 22 points, we won 65 to 63, the end.