Week Playoffs: Round 1: Week 1: Which Is Really Week 14

Our playoffs have begun. Four teams made, and there are two rounds consisting of two weeks each. I think that pretty much explains everything. On to the action.

The schedule made this a rather exciting week for us. Our opponent was the Arabian Bomb Squad. Of his nine players, eight were playing in the one o'clock games. On the other hand, we had 6 of our nine in the 4:30 games. Our opponent got some huge games. He had Jamaal Charles and LeSean McCoy. Charles ran for over 150 yards and had 2 TDs while McCoy had over 200 yards and 2 TDs. Together they put up a decent 60 points. He also got some quality points from Joique Bell with 15 and Charles Clay with 21. Luckily the Patriots defense ranks somewhere between poor and poor, so they managed to remove 4 of his points. Also, he got zeros from Randall Cobb (understandable due to his not playing), Terrelle Pryor (understandable due to his coach not wanting him to play), and Demarius Moore (see note about Cobb). With only his kicker left to play, he had 92 points. Here's how his scoreboard looked:

Note: At the time of this publication, his kicker is still playing. For the bad Cowboys.

On our end we had the Green Bay defense, Edelman, and Gronk playing in the early games. Green Bay played with my heart for a while, but managed to hold at 21 points allowed while picking up an INT and a fumble recovery for 7 decent points. The Patriots managed to piss me off until the last second. Somehow they could not score against the Browns. To add injury to worthlessness, Gronk went down with season-ending ACL explosions. He only had 30 yards at the time. Also, since the Patriots couldn't score, Edelman had almost nothing for most of the game. But then God or Jesus or whoever really hates the Browns stepped in. First, Edelman picked up a 2 point conversion, and later he grabbed a TD as the Patriots came back in improbable fashion. Edelman's final tally was 14. This put us down quite a bit, but we still had most of our big guns left.

First up was Peyton "I Love Cold Weather" Manning. Well this time the cold was not an issue for the old man. Manning had nearly 400 yards, no INTs, and 4 TDs. He didn't even fumble. 31 points for him. Then there was Danny "I'm Playing the Giants!!!" Woodhead. He had his usual Woodheadian performance with 42, 52, and 1 TD for 15 points. Alert scouting on our part imformed us that Peyton "I'm on the Giants??" Hillis was going to suit up this week, so even though AP went down and Gerhart got some quality time, Hillis made us not feel too bad about it by scoring a TD and grabbing 7 points. Wes "I'm Running Out of These" Welker managed 60 yards and a TD before being concussed again. He'll probably be out next week, but this week he got us 12 points. Eric "I Score 4 TDs a Week" Decker had 1 TD, but 117 yards for 17 points. And finally, Phil "Dawson" had 4 field goals and blah blah for 15 points. This put our final tally at 122. Here's some evidence:

So we enter the second week in a good place, up roughly 30. We will have to replace Gronk and probably Welker, but we have enough random white receivers I think. That's all for now. On to next week.